STATS – Day: 62 | Distance: 6914 miles | Location: Menahga, Minnesota | Money Spent To Date – Gas: $712.25| Food: $813.67 Play/Misc: $262.73 | Lodging $853.50
I splurged a bit on this stay. A cabin in the country all to myself, no one to interact with, a big bed, a hot shower, cooking delicious food from items I picked up from my travels. 40-hours of ME time, me, me, me!
Selfish right? I’ve been told by several people that this entire 4-month trip across country is selfish, that leaving my co-workers is selfish, that leaving people I consider my friends in the DC metro area is selfish. That leaving my daughter is selfish – people, she is 29 years old and lives on her own in Virginia, I’m not leaving an infant! And Ashley would be the last person who would say this is selfish as a negative term.
The definition of Selfishness is being concerned, for oneself or one’s own advantage, pleasure, or welfare, regardless of others. I have given great thought and deliberation about everyone around me and have gone to good measures to make sure I continue to keep in contact. However, yes, I am still putting myself first. I have lived my life for enough people in my past.
This is Piper time.
Selfishness has been thrown into a negative category along with self-centeredness, egocentrism, narcissism which also have some very positive merits. Why is it so many self-help books tell us that “we are only capable of loving others if we FIRST love our self” and then give a big poo-poo to being selfish. Selfishness doesn’t mean you don’t help others, it means that you don’t lose yourself at the expense of others.
I call it “Selfish Goodness” and believe that everyone should practice selfish goodness on a daily basis. Do things just for yourself that make you happy. This could be something as small as eating dessert first, taking a hot bath, taking a drive, go play a game of basketball with your buddies….anything, EVERY DAY!
I’m also a big supporter of a self-made holiday called “YES DAY” which was first introduced to me by Carla. She has one special holiday a year for her kids called “YES DAY” where the kids can do absolutely anything they want (within reason) for the day – eat licorice for breakfast, have a whip cream fight, stay in a hotel with a swimming pool, watch the same cartoon 24-times in a row. The whole day is completely theirs! How fantastic is that!!! I created a YES DAY for myself. I created a quarterly YES DAY for myself – that’s the beauty of self-made holidays, you can make them any way you want!
Of course when I told Ashley about my new holiday, she got all excited (remember she is 29 years old), and said “so I can do anything I want today?” “No”, I said, “that would be YOUR YES DAY, this is MY YES DAY”.
My YES DAYs have included picking sunflowers, exploring a vineyard, 8-hours at the Korean spa, lunch with a fantastic friend, eating two desserts, doing a watercolor painting during a long-slow hike, driving to the beach, and sleeping the day away. The hardest part of YES DAY is deciding what I “truly want to do today”.
“Fit your own oxygen mask before helping others.”
Article: When being selfish is a good thing
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